Defying Gravity

I sincerely believe that today was my lucky day. I should have bought a lottery ticket, but I didn't get a chance. Although nothing particularly spectacular happened, I believe that the laws of klutz-ism were defied before my very eyes. This morning I headed out the door laden with my lunch box, my flute, my purse, my water bottle, and two plates of my freshly-baked and semi-famous brownies. (Oh, and it might be significant to point out that I was also wearing mittens.) My mother cautioned me that I would never be able to carry all of that, but I didn't see much choice in the matter. I made it into the car without much ado, but getting out and into work was another story. As I attempted to lock my car, one of the plates brownies flipped over my arm, turned two somersaults as if in slow motion, and come to rest on the ground. Frosting side up! Yes, there the brownies were, sitting as peacefully and intact as though I had set them down there on purpose. Seriously, does that even happen to anyone, let alone someone as coordination challenged as I am? I dared believe that perhaps my klutziness was taking a turn for the better. This boundless optimism lasted for about 12 seconds, at which point I spilled half of my water bottle down the front of me. I should have known it was too good to last!

Hey! You look just like....

This curious phenomenon has followed me all of my life, but I feel that lately it has become more pronounced, maybe even out of control. The phenomenon to which I refer is "Chronic Look-Alike Syndrome." Ever since I was in middle school, almost every new person I meet will inevitably say either a) Ohmygosh! You look exactly like my mom's hairdresser/my third grade teacher/my aunt's best friend!" or b) "Haven't I met you before?' I've heard it said that everyone has a twin out there somewhere, but honestly, I must have 6,000.

I can recall one instance of "Haven't I met you before?" that lead to a conversation that lasted approximately the duration of my two weeks at French camp. Our conversations usually went about like this. "Did you used to go to kindergarten at Creekside?" "No." "Did you ever used to hang out at Riverview Park?" "No." "Where does your Dad work?" "Ford Credit." "Oh my gosh, I think we bought a car there once!! Did you like, hang around with your Dad at the car dealership sometimes?" "No, my dad works in Finance. In an office building. He has nothing at all to do with the cars." "Oh." "Well, were you ever in juvenile detention?" "No!!!! I never even got my name on the blackboard!!!" (Actually, I did get kicked out of three preschools and a Montessori School, but really, who's keeping track?) Even after all this questioning, I was unable to make the kid accept that we didn't know each other. Honestly.

I wouldn't say that this bothers me exactly, but I am a little unnerved by the fact that these comparisons are rarely flattering. Sure, I've gotten the occasional Drew Barrymore (especially after the first Scream movie came out), and at least two separate Jodi Fosters, but usually I when I meet or see pictures of the people I look exactly like, it doesn't make me feel terribly attractive.

Does this happen to anyone else? Does everybody get told they look like lots of other people, or is it just me who looks exactly like most of the other unremarkable-looking women in America? Theoretically, if I look like this many people, they should all look like each other too, right? I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I guess I'm just curious if anyone else experiences the same "look-alike Syndrome." If you do, let me know...maybe we can be each other's stunt doubles?