My Resolutions for 2008
Last year, in 2007, I made all sorts of lofty New Years resolutions. I vowed to eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day. I resolved that I would exercise 5 times a week. I knew that in 2007 I would be able to read all sorts of enlightening books, about which I could then discourse elegantly with people twice as smart as I am. I promised myself that I would somehow miraculously stop doing so many foolish things. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that I broke all of them before the week was out. I still want to do all of those things, but I think I'm also going to make a few more resolutions, ones that are perhaps a little more minor and slightly more achievable. So, you heard it here folks....here's how I plan to have a fabulous 2008...
1. I solemnly avow that I will stop scraping the side of my car on the side of the garage. I will give myself 2 free small scrapes or one large scrape. Nobody's perfect....
2. I will stop throwing things out of the shower and forgetting about them. I've realized lately that I do this all the time. Empty shampoo bottle? Just toss it out the side of the tub and throw it away later. Razor blade dull? Just throw it out the curtain, otherwise I'll certainly forget to put it in the garbage can. The problem is, I always forget the second step in the process. My sainted roommate never says anything, but she surely must be annoyed by this little habit of mine...
3. I will make myself like cucumbers. All I have to do is eat them 17 times, and I'll forget that I don't like them. This has worked perfectly in the area of broccoli, tomatoes, and asparagus. I'm certain I won't be ready to conquer the carrot until 2009...
4. I will stop spontaneously bursting into the song "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?" Not being particularly fond of doggies, I can't figure out why this song is ALWAYS in my head. I will be taking suggestions for a new default song throughout the month of January. Please make it something cool.
5. I will never again leave my keys in the apartment door after I've already gone inside. Please don't tell my mother, but I seem to do this approximately three times per week. For some reason I'm always carrying armloads and armloads of stuff, and never seem to have a free hand to pull the key out of the door. This is probably not a very safe habit.
6. I will find myself an "And Guest." I am forever receiving wedding invitations addressed to Ms. Erinn Danielson and Guest. Don't get me wrong, I am fantastic at going to weddings alone, but sometimes I feel like I should help the bride and groom out and stop messing up their seating charts. Said "And Guest" does not have to be a boyfriend, just some sort of man who likes to dress up, dance, and keep me from falling into the snow when I'm wearing slippery shoes about 5 times a year.
7. I will not acquire responsibility for any new animals during 2008. A tankful of suicidal koi fish (seriously, one jumped out of the tank last week causing me to temporarily lose all sense of profesional decorum), two matted long-haired cats, two aviaries full of birds, and the proverbial doggie in the window are more than enough to keep me occupied. If one or both of the cats should expire, I shan't cry.
8. I shall make no further emergency trips to Lund's grocery store in my pajamas. This resolution expires once the nighttime temperature is consistently above 60 degrees.
9. I will stop stepping in my soup. Technically, I've already broken this one, since I just did it a couple of hours ago. However, everyone deserves a second chance..
10. I will not break any of my previous 9 resolutions. Seriously this year... ;-)
1. I solemnly avow that I will stop scraping the side of my car on the side of the garage. I will give myself 2 free small scrapes or one large scrape. Nobody's perfect....
2. I will stop throwing things out of the shower and forgetting about them. I've realized lately that I do this all the time. Empty shampoo bottle? Just toss it out the side of the tub and throw it away later. Razor blade dull? Just throw it out the curtain, otherwise I'll certainly forget to put it in the garbage can. The problem is, I always forget the second step in the process. My sainted roommate never says anything, but she surely must be annoyed by this little habit of mine...
3. I will make myself like cucumbers. All I have to do is eat them 17 times, and I'll forget that I don't like them. This has worked perfectly in the area of broccoli, tomatoes, and asparagus. I'm certain I won't be ready to conquer the carrot until 2009...
4. I will stop spontaneously bursting into the song "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?" Not being particularly fond of doggies, I can't figure out why this song is ALWAYS in my head. I will be taking suggestions for a new default song throughout the month of January. Please make it something cool.
5. I will never again leave my keys in the apartment door after I've already gone inside. Please don't tell my mother, but I seem to do this approximately three times per week. For some reason I'm always carrying armloads and armloads of stuff, and never seem to have a free hand to pull the key out of the door. This is probably not a very safe habit.
6. I will find myself an "And Guest." I am forever receiving wedding invitations addressed to Ms. Erinn Danielson and Guest. Don't get me wrong, I am fantastic at going to weddings alone, but sometimes I feel like I should help the bride and groom out and stop messing up their seating charts. Said "And Guest" does not have to be a boyfriend, just some sort of man who likes to dress up, dance, and keep me from falling into the snow when I'm wearing slippery shoes about 5 times a year.
7. I will not acquire responsibility for any new animals during 2008. A tankful of suicidal koi fish (seriously, one jumped out of the tank last week causing me to temporarily lose all sense of profesional decorum), two matted long-haired cats, two aviaries full of birds, and the proverbial doggie in the window are more than enough to keep me occupied. If one or both of the cats should expire, I shan't cry.
8. I shall make no further emergency trips to Lund's grocery store in my pajamas. This resolution expires once the nighttime temperature is consistently above 60 degrees.
9. I will stop stepping in my soup. Technically, I've already broken this one, since I just did it a couple of hours ago. However, everyone deserves a second chance..
10. I will not break any of my previous 9 resolutions. Seriously this year... ;-)
posted by Erinn @ 5:37 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:22 AM,
Brenda said…
Erinn,
I know it's February now, and no longer January, but I have an excellent suggestion for a "default song." It's "What a day for a daydream." I can't really remember the rest of the words, but I'm sure you know them. It's a nice, easy-going, look at the cup half-full kind of song. As an added bonus, you could always exchange the word "daydream" for anything else you might be doing that day, i.e. "What a day for a manicure, pet shampooing, closet reorganization" etc.
(this next comment is said with a Godfathery Italian voice) "Also, I hear you are looking into the expiration of some certain cats. Let's just say I know a guy who can help you out. Two words: automatic shotgun."
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