I Might Be An Anti-Bike-ite....

One blustery, blizzardy day last winter, I got into an argument with my coworkers. I can't remember exactly how it started, but I do remember that it ended with me being called an anti-bike-ite. This is not exactly fair. I don't really dislike bikers at all. I think it is very admirable that people are able to ride their bikes to work, saving on gas and saving the environment, all the while maintaining their skinny biker physiques that fit so nicely into their padded spandex shorts. What I actually dislike is bikers who ride their bikes to work when it is snowing, icy, and there is zero visibility, and yet seem to believe it is a good idea to cut in between cars at stoplights, as well as alternate between following car rules and pedestrian rules depending on what is convenient. I also dislike bikers who insist on riding in the middle of the road, believing that they can speed up and ride as fast as any car may wish to drive. This is generally an idea not based in reality. This also generally happens when I am late to work. However, this is not really the point of my story, merely a bit of background information mixed with a teaspoon of ranting. Here is my actual story.

It turns out that I AM the biker that I hate. I don't take the old Raleigh out for a spin very often, but last night I was inspired to do so under the guidance of my roommate. It may have in fact been the first time I have ridden my bike in about 6 years. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out how to get the bike into a gear in which I actually moved forward when I pedaled, but by the time I reached the end of our alley I seemed to be cruising along pretty well. Since I was terrified by the idea of riding on Lake Street, Karissa felt that the very narrow and completely parked-on back road was the way to go. I must have gotten in the way of a good 17 cars within the first block, but I did my best to smile apologetically and wave at all the people whom I had hindered. Then came the real trouble. My pant leg somehow got stuck in the left pedal, and I was helpless to free it. "ROOOOMIE!" I wailed, "I'm stuck!!!" Since I was only going about 1.2 miles per hour, she was far enough ahead that she didn't hear my cry for help. However, the people driving next to me who were patiently waiting for me to let them pass did hear. "Are you ok??" they asked, sounding most concerned. I smiled apologetically and waved again, having perfected the Sorry-I'm-A-Complete-Idiot shoulder shrug by this time. "Yep!! No problem here!" I somehow managed to pull over the side of the road to free my pant leg, by which time Karissa had realized I was no longer behind her. She patiently explained my options for avoiding the stuck pant leg in the future, and waited as I turned my pants into capris. We continued for a good half a block with no further incident, that is, until my shoelace got stuck in the other pedal. Karissa again waited while I freed the troublesome article of clothing. She then pointed out that we were traveling approximately one short block every minute, which as I understand will not qualify me for the Tour-de-France. We finally made it to the lake path, which seemed like it would be much easier to ride on than the scary streets of Uptown. It was actually a pleasant ride once I figured out how to let someone going the opposite direction pass by me without having to slow to a complete stop. After a mile or so, I was actually feeling pretty good. I felt confident in my biking skills until we were passed by not one but three different people on rollerblades. Who were these people, some sort of Olympic super-women? (The only recreational pursuit that I am worse at than biking is rollerblading, in case anyone cared to know...) I am happy to report that I made it around the ENTIRE lake without taking leave of my extremely uncomfortable bike seat and probably even without my white-knuckled grip ever leaving the handlebars. I was nearly doomed when I had an itch on my back, but the idea of having to let go scared the itch into submission. I really think I might go biking again tomorrow night. Even if I am an anti-bike-ite....