Not to go all "Miss Manners" on anyone....
I finally feel compelled to write about an issue that has been causing me increased distress over perhaps the past several years. I know that I myself am probably guilty of doing some of the very same things I am about to complain about at some point, so none of the following should be taken personally. However, I find that these situations have been coming up with greater frequency, and with each time my blood boils just a little bit hotter. This issue is cell phone etiquette.
I am currently spending the week at an Activity Directors conference in Sioux Falls, SD for work. There are only 20 of us, and we attend all of our "classes"/information sessions in a small room where everyone can hear everything. At this morning's informational sessions alone, 4 peoples' cell phones rang. Two of those people left to answer them. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, and imagine that they were both emergencies. Fine. Then again, last night, the first night that we were sitting down to dinner with our newly introduced colleagues, two of the women at my table answered their cell phones during dinner, and proceeded to have conversations with their child/spouse/best friend without getting up from the table! Now, I'm sorry, but in my book, that is just rude. Not only did it force the other people at our table to talk more quietly or stop talking altogether so that they could hear the people on the other end of the line, but it also basically forced everyone else to listen to one end of a conversation that we didn't care about anyway. Stop me if I'm being an old curmudgeon, but I think that it's fairly selfish to assume that seven people who are basically complete strangers are interested in listening to your phone conversation.
This has also been happening more frequently in social settings. I will be talking to a friend one-on-one or in a small group, and all of a sudden, their cell phone will ring and we will be forced to halt the conversation for five minutes while the other person takes a call. I recall one instance in which I was recounting a fairly dramatic story to a friend, and the other person's cell phone rang right as I was getting to the conclusion/punchline of the story. My friend immediately answered the call without so much as an "Excuse me for a moment, please." The individual then proceeded to talk for several minutes before she hung up. In returning to our conversation, she never even acknowledged the fact that I had been in the middle of the story, or apologized for cutting me off. I never finished the story I'd been telling her. I'm not saying that all my stories are fascinating, perhaps she didn't care about that either. Still, I felt incredibly slighted over the whole incident.
At what point in our society's rules of etiquette did the person calling us on our cell phone become more important than the person who we are actually physically present with?!!? How many calls are so important that they cannot wait until just a bit later? I understand that emergencies come up. Children who are home alone need help. The person who you have been playing telephone tag with for 17 days finally calls you back at a time when you could answer your phone. You need to set a meeting place with the person you are scheduled to meet in an hour. You need to pick up your phone quick to tell the person that you'll call them back in 15 minutes. All of this, I say, is fine. Still, I believe that it is common courtesy to quickly excuse yourself and step outside or go into another room if you need to answer a call. That way, the people who are not on the phone can continue their conversation without interruption from your half of the call.
Am I alone in my opinions about this matter? Does anyone else have a different point of view on things? Am I only the only one who is annoyed when I have to sit around in silence and wait for the person I had been hanging out one-on-one with to finish their cell phone call? Again, I'm not saying that I have never offended in the ways about which I'm frustrated, but I do my best to turn off my phone in social situations, especially when the people I am with are new acquaintences.
I will finish with a little story that really made me think...a few weeks ago I was driving home and passed two early-teenage girls walking on the sidewalk. "How sweet," I thought to myself. "Two young girls out enjoying the beautiful weather and each others' company." As I got closer, I saw that not one, but both of them, were yaking away on their respective cell phones. It made me think alot about how much things have changed since I was that age...I don't think I was missing out by not having a phone until college. It just makes me wonder what's next...
I am currently spending the week at an Activity Directors conference in Sioux Falls, SD for work. There are only 20 of us, and we attend all of our "classes"/information sessions in a small room where everyone can hear everything. At this morning's informational sessions alone, 4 peoples' cell phones rang. Two of those people left to answer them. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, and imagine that they were both emergencies. Fine. Then again, last night, the first night that we were sitting down to dinner with our newly introduced colleagues, two of the women at my table answered their cell phones during dinner, and proceeded to have conversations with their child/spouse/best friend without getting up from the table! Now, I'm sorry, but in my book, that is just rude. Not only did it force the other people at our table to talk more quietly or stop talking altogether so that they could hear the people on the other end of the line, but it also basically forced everyone else to listen to one end of a conversation that we didn't care about anyway. Stop me if I'm being an old curmudgeon, but I think that it's fairly selfish to assume that seven people who are basically complete strangers are interested in listening to your phone conversation.
This has also been happening more frequently in social settings. I will be talking to a friend one-on-one or in a small group, and all of a sudden, their cell phone will ring and we will be forced to halt the conversation for five minutes while the other person takes a call. I recall one instance in which I was recounting a fairly dramatic story to a friend, and the other person's cell phone rang right as I was getting to the conclusion/punchline of the story. My friend immediately answered the call without so much as an "Excuse me for a moment, please." The individual then proceeded to talk for several minutes before she hung up. In returning to our conversation, she never even acknowledged the fact that I had been in the middle of the story, or apologized for cutting me off. I never finished the story I'd been telling her. I'm not saying that all my stories are fascinating, perhaps she didn't care about that either. Still, I felt incredibly slighted over the whole incident.
At what point in our society's rules of etiquette did the person calling us on our cell phone become more important than the person who we are actually physically present with?!!? How many calls are so important that they cannot wait until just a bit later? I understand that emergencies come up. Children who are home alone need help. The person who you have been playing telephone tag with for 17 days finally calls you back at a time when you could answer your phone. You need to set a meeting place with the person you are scheduled to meet in an hour. You need to pick up your phone quick to tell the person that you'll call them back in 15 minutes. All of this, I say, is fine. Still, I believe that it is common courtesy to quickly excuse yourself and step outside or go into another room if you need to answer a call. That way, the people who are not on the phone can continue their conversation without interruption from your half of the call.
Am I alone in my opinions about this matter? Does anyone else have a different point of view on things? Am I only the only one who is annoyed when I have to sit around in silence and wait for the person I had been hanging out one-on-one with to finish their cell phone call? Again, I'm not saying that I have never offended in the ways about which I'm frustrated, but I do my best to turn off my phone in social situations, especially when the people I am with are new acquaintences.
I will finish with a little story that really made me think...a few weeks ago I was driving home and passed two early-teenage girls walking on the sidewalk. "How sweet," I thought to myself. "Two young girls out enjoying the beautiful weather and each others' company." As I got closer, I saw that not one, but both of them, were yaking away on their respective cell phones. It made me think alot about how much things have changed since I was that age...I don't think I was missing out by not having a phone until college. It just makes me wonder what's next...
posted by Erinn @ 3:47 PM
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