The Top Five Worst Christmas Songs Ever

I love just about all things Christmas. I have thoroughly amused all of my coworkers by slowly adding to our office decor--first an Advent calendar, then, a small Christmas tree complete with lights and decorations, next, a small stack of assorted Christmas CDs...you get the idea. In college, I used to get in trouble with my roommate for attempting to put up far more lights than our small dorm-room wiring system could support. I vividly recall one incident in which she threw her hands up in utter frustration and said, "Danni, you are SMOKING THE CHRISTMAS CRACK! This has got to stop!" Given these anecdotes, it shouldn't surprise anyone that my radio is almost constantly tuned to 107.9 during the holiday season. I think this makes me at least a quasi-expert in the field of Christmas music. After extensive and dedicated research, I have compiled a list of what I believe to be the 5 worst Christmas songs ever.


5. "Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)"
Worst line: "Just last year when I was only seven now I'm almost eight as you can see, you came home at quarter past eleven and fell down underneath our Christmas tree"
Enough said.


4. "The Holiday Season"
Worst line: "It's the holiday season (the holiday season) with the whoop-de-do, and hickory dock"
What's that about anyway? Hickory dock? I don't recall that being a part of Christmas. Hickory Farms, maybe. But even that is pushing the envelop a little bit....

3. "Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart)"
Worst line: "(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying "I Love You" I meant it"
Cheesy back up band, cheesy vocals, cheesy lyrics. Plus, I used to think that one line was "This year, to set new frontiers...." The real words aren't much better.

2. "Please Come Home For Christmas"
Worst line: "My baby's gone, I have no friends to wish me greetings once again"
Sheesh dude, suck it up. Maybe if you weren't such a whiner, someone would send you a card.

1. "Christmas Shoes"
Worst line: I really can't pick just one. I think this song needs to be taken as a whole.
This song is absolutely shameless. They use every trick in the book to try to make saps like me cry (which I will admit that I did, the first 407 times I heard the song...) right down to the morose-sounding children's choir singing the chorus at the end! I hope this one doesn't become a Christmas classic!